While the Democratic National Convention was being wowed by Michelle Obama and Ted Kennedy last night, Republican John McCain was where the votes really are — on the Tonight Show.
Don’t snort. A study a few years ago by the Pew Research Center for People and the Press found that nearly a quarter of adults under 30 regularly obtain information about candidates from comedy programs and more than half sometimes do.
And with the pithy coverage the political conventions get on the networks these days, there may be more visibility yucking it up with Jay Leno. McCain has appeared there 13 times.
He joked about his age — “My Social Security number is 8″ — and played the POW card to dig out of the embarrassment of not knowing how many houses he owned, noting he didn’t have a house during his 5 1/2 years of captivity in Hanoi.
After McCain worked hard to outdo Barack Obama in praising Hillary Clinton, Leno asked, “Why not pick her for vice president?”
These appearances can come back to haunt. Burned into my memory is an appearance McCain made on the David Letterman show shortly after 9/11 during which he told the following joke:
Question: What will Osama bin Laden be for Halloween?
Answer: Dead.
Didn’t happen, big guy. George W. Bush is almost gone and Osama is still around.
After seven years of proof that cocky talk in the absence of effective action doesn’t make for good foreign policy, I’d love to hear McCain’s new take on that one.
It’s good to be back from vacation. Well, not really, but let’s “flASHback” anyway on the week’s news that amused and confused:
Hawai’i soldiers going to the Middle East gathered with 7,000 supporters at Aloha Stadium to try a world record group hug. If only we could end the war that way — or at least the feud between state and city law enforcers at ‘Iolani Palace.
Would-be monarch James Akahi planned to chain himself to the throne when his group broke into ‘Iolani Palace, but he couldn’t find it. The only throne this “king” will ever sit on has a flush handle on it.
Jerry Coffee of the local McCain campaign dissed Barack Obama’s visit to Hawai’i, saying: “John McCain would have taken more time to visit historical sites and been more generous with the public.” Talk is cheap. Why not come show us?
Gov. Linda Lingle will speak at the Republican Convention and campaign on the Mainland for McCain. With her Hawai’i GOP contesting barely half of local legislative seats, she has plenty of time to fly around auditioning for her next job.
Mayor Mufi Hannemann’s new campaign ad shows him passing a basketball to fellow ‘Iolani alum Derrick Low. Good to see he’s picked up a new hoops skill since high school.
The airline getting to be known as “going, going, gone!” saw quarterly losses double despite the shutdown of Aloha Airlines. On the bright side, its pilots stayed awake this quarter.
Kapiolani Community College Chancellor Leon Richards joined more than 100 college leaders in calling for a debate on lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18. That’s one way to become the toast of the campus.
A Mililani man allegedly assaulted his wife after she tossed a video game she thought he played too much. After all those hours at the joystick, you’d think the dude would know that Super Mario is supposed to save the princess, not choke her.
Honolulu Zoo vets think their Sumatran tiger Chrissie might be pregnant, but they aren’t sure. Every time they try to give her the rabbit test, she eats it.
Hawaii is second-thinnest state behind Colorado, a national report says. They must be measuring us around our wallets.
And the quote of the week …
… from state economist Pearl Imada Iboshi:
“Some people are panicking, but the numbers aren’t that bad.”
Whew, I was starting to worry about the 2,500 layoffs, the 45-percent increase in bankruptcies and the double-digit drop in visitor arrivals.
Since Sen. Barack Obama is gracing us with a visit, we’ll start with presidential politics as we “flASHback” on the week’s news that amused and confused:
Obama plans to prepare for the Democratic National Convention while chilling out on our beaches. I hope we don’t see a parade of vice president hopefuls in swim trunks.
Sen. John McCain, who hasn’t cast a vote on the Senate floor since April, knocked Obama and other senators for taking a break instead of staying in Washington to work on the energy crisis. Then he resumed his nap.
Paris Hilton responded to McCain’s ad mocking Obama at her expense by calling him a “wrinkly white-haired guy” and referring to both candidates as “bitches.” You usually don’t get that kind of respect until after you’re elected president.
Top legislators defended Hawai’i Tourism Authority CEO Rex Johnson, who was caught e-mailing porn from his state computer, saying he’s vital to reviving Hawai’i’s visitor industry. How, by stealing sex tourists from Bangkok?
The Department of Education sent more than 650 people to a conference at the Disney resort in Florida for $1.2 million. No wonder the school board can’t find money to pay for $35 drug tests for teachers.
Some state employees started a four-day work week. If they can get it down to 2 1/2 days, maybe they’ll get their pay doubled like Kamehameha Schools trustees.
An attorney who’s suing Kamehameha Schools over its Hawaiians-first admissions again after collecting $7 million last time says it’s a matter of principle. Sad but true. Greed is one of the the oldest legal principles.
An auditor criticized the city for a 44-percent increase in its energy costs. And that’s for just talking about trains. Wait until they start running them.
University of Hawai’i enrollment is up as the local job market shrinks. These are mean times when you need a college degree to be unemployed.
A Kaka’ako massage parlor was robbed by eight men masking their identities. In other words, they looked like any other men going into massage parlors.
Theresa Harden of Kane’ohe followed a carjacker and his abducted victim across the Pali and guided police to him by cell phone. Looks like “Dog” Chapman can be replaced if he shoots off his mouth again.
And the quote of the week …
… from mayoral candidate Ann Kobayashi on Mayor Mufi Hannemann’s $2.7 million war chest:
“Money isn’t everything. Money is power but so is people power, and I think people power is greater.”
This campaign will test the power of wishful thinking.
This week starts and ends with rail transit as we place tongue in cheek and “flASHback” on the news that amused and confused:
After pledging to fight a voter initiative on transit by any legal means, Mayor Mufi Hannemann now says he’ll support putting the question on the ballot if it’s worded right. His preferred wording: Should we tie Charles Djou or Ann Kobayashi to the tracks for the train’s inaugural run?
An Advertiser poll found that two-thirds of O’ahu voters polled support rail, but most say they won’t use the train themselves. Kind of like good manners — nice for other people to have.
Hawai’i is spending up to three times the national average on our roads, but their condition is the 47th worst in the nation, a study says. Anybody heard if Chinatown bookies think we’ll do any better with rail?
Duke Bainum, who’s lived mostly in Arkansas lately, rushed back to Honolulu and rented an apartment so he could run for the council when Kobayashi declared for mayor. Don’t they have city councils in Arkansas whose dysfunction he could contribute to?
Gov. Linda Lingle test-drove fuel-efficient vehicles at a federal energy lab in Colorado. She must have been relieved to get home to the comfort of her new gas-guzzling Infiniti SUV.
The state’s chief elections officer Kevin Cronin says he meant to register to vote as the law requires of him, but it kept slipping down his to-do list. Makes you curious what other parts of the election law he considers optional.
Tesoro Corp., owner of Hawai’i’s largest gasoline refiner, said high oil prices and less demand cut its profits to a fraction of last year’s. All together now: Awwwwwwwww.
Michelle Wie’s best LPGA showing this year is a DQ, but she’s still one of the five highest-paid female athletes at $12 million, according to Forbes. No wonder she didn’t sign her scorecard. She must have writer’s cramp from endorsing the checks she pulled from Nike’s clenched teeth.
John McCain mocked Barack Obama by likening him to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I guess a man McCain’s age is more into the Gabor sisters.
And the quote of the week …
… from Councilman Romy Cachola on the need to give voters a say on rail:
“I’m willing to hold hands, because if we don’t, the public will crucify this institution.”
I promise not to crucify him if he keeps his hands to himself.
Whew, with presidential fluffs and local candidates filing madly, it’s all politics as we “flASHback” on the week’s news that amused and confused:
Barack Obama’s coming home for a Honolulu fundraiser that will cost $2,300 to attend — $10,000 if you want to go to a private reception. Ah, the politics of change. You shake his hand, he shakes you down.
John McCain is getting grief about his age after gaffes that included confusing Russia’s Vladimir Putin with the German president. Give the guy a break. He can’t help it if he doesn’t remember what he forgot.
Councilwoman Ann Kobayashi stirred city politics with her late decision to run against Mayor Mufi Hannemann. After three years of snarling between these two, it seems more like a fight for alpha dog than chief executive.
Duke Bainum, who lost to Hannemann in 2004, will run for Kobayashi’s council seat after spending much of the last four years out of state tending to “family business.” I didn’t know sulking was his family’s business.
When Rep. Kirk Caldwell came up a signature short on his nomination papers filed with the city clerk to run against Bainum, a worker in the clerk’s office signed for him. Isn’t it comforting that our election overseers are so scrupulous about not showing favoritism?
Election officials let Democratic House candidate Chrystn Eads take her nomination papers out of the office to get signatures, then re-enter after closing time to file. If the LPGA operated that way, Michelle Wie would be hoisting a trophy instead of explaining a disqualification.
GOP chairman Willes Lee said the party fielded candidates in only 29 of the 51 House districts because he’s more interested in quality than quantity. You can never be too careful about the quality of your losers.
Gov. Linda Lingle skipped the filing frenzy for an energy conservation meeting in the Bahamas. Typical. She’s never wasted energy on anybody’s political fortunes but her own.
Leaders of the anti-rail initiative say they’ll accept the will of the voters if they get on the ballot and lose. I’m sure that’ll be gracious, like Dick Tuck after he lost a California election: “The people have spoken — the bastards.”
And the quote of the week …
… from Democratic chairman Brian Schatz on the filing disputes:
“Hawai’i Republicans have already dragged these elections into the mud.”
